Even though wedding season is still going strong for some people, with many at-home weddings and small-scale celebrations popping up, there are a lot of couples who’ve had to postpone their wedding due to the pandemic. Some have family members that can’t make it, some have been affected by COVID (or know someone who has) and some just don’t want to take the risk! Either way, postponing your wedding is completely justified with everything that’s going on. But unfortunately, not everyone is always sensitive to what a couple may be going through. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of things you shouldn’t say to someone who’s had to postpone their wedding. You’re welcome!
You could’ve been married by now!”
Please don’t say this. I’m sure the couple is well aware that they could have been married by now but they aren’t and there’s a very valid reason for it. The couple is probably more upset than you, so don’t rub salt in their wounds!
“Just get married at home and be done with it!”
How someone chooses to get married is totally up to them. Don’t tell them what to do! And don’t rush them either! A wedding isn’t something you just do for the hell of it.
“Small weddings are better than big weddings”
Again, how someone chooses to celebrate their wedding is completely their choice! If they want to get married in a grand way post-covid and invite a bunch of guests, they have the right to do so. They also have the right to postpone their wedding till they can celebrate the way they want to!
“Just be grateful you’re healthy”
Of course, being grateful for your health is extremely important. But it’s also okay to be upset about postponing your wedding! By saying this, you’re just making them feel guilty about being upset and trivialising a very important day for them.
“Now I have to cancel my travel arrangement/holiday”
This is not about you – not even a little! No matter how inconvenient this is for you, it’s ten times worse for the couple! Whatever arrangements you’ve made can easily be changed, given we’re living through a pandemic.
“So has the baby-planning been delayed as well?”
We were appalled to hear this but it’s true! We actually know a couple who got this comment. Whether the intent is to lighten the mood or be meant as a joke, please don’t say this!
“Here’s what I would do instead”
Even if your intention is to help, this really isn’t the time to give out unsolicited advice. Rest assured that this isn’t a decision the couple has taken lightly and if they had other options, they would have taken them.
“But xyz did such a simple thing, you should do the same”
The last thing anyone wants is to be compared to someone else – pandemic or no pandemic. What worked for someone else won’t necessarily work for a different couple. Don’t make them feel even worse about it!
“Now you get more time to plan!”
Most couples start planning their wedding at least a year in advance and if it’s being postponed, it’s most likely at the last minute when most of the planning has been done. So even more planning won’t really help!
“Maybe it’s meant to be!”
While this is also said with good intent, in that moment the couple won’t really see that. Right now, they can’t really think about the future. They have a bunch of cancellations to deal with so maybe now isn’t the time for the big picture.
Things To Say Instead
Hopefully, most of us are better than this and won’t make the mistake of being insensitive to our friends. To make sure you’re supporting your friends to the fullest, here are a few things you can say to them instead:
- “Don’t worry, I’ll be there at the new date!”
- “I’m so sorry you had to change your plans.”
- “How can I help?”
- “I’m here if you need to vent”
- “I’m still so excited for you two!”
- “You deserve a great wedding and celebrating how you choose!”
- “We’ll still celebrate however we can!”