Love Letters To Icons: Reema

There are countless female icons that have coloured our history and left a lasting impression on us with their talent, charisma and presence. Every week, Ammaar – known on Instagram as ammaavocado – will be sharing his letter of love and admiration to some of these inspiring women. This week it’s to the one and only – Reema:

Dearest Reema, 

I am beginning to realize that want is an unending pursuit. Desire meets new desire, meets new desire. It’s human instinct, it’s uncontrollable and spontaneous, but we can decide what desire we pursue. 

You speak of this in your interview with Samina Peerzada. You speak of how you desired the limits of success in showbiz and then saw past the fame and found meaning in life. 

You are blessed in many ways, Reema. You are blessed in ways most people aren’t. But what sets you apart is that you were blessed with the wisdom to look past a pursuit to find new desire, with every past desire met. It is a blessing bigger than any other. 

Wisdom is what really allows us to feel everything at a deeper intensity. I am sinking into philosophy these days. I am learning the concept of meaning. I am not having a midlife crisis, but I am preventing myself from reaching that. The most common attribute I’ve noticed through this new desire of knowledge is that every great philosopher has had some margin of stoicism. 

Stoicism is an interesting concept. And since I know your fondness for knowledge, I am sharing this to contribute to your endless city of wisdom. Stoicism is a concept first introduced by Zeno of Citium and then followed on by King Marcus Aurelius who suggested that there are two things we as humans can control. Inner control, and external control. Inner control is the idea of controlling our emotions, coping or manipulating them to our convenience. To find meaning, joy and happiness within ourselves, this is also where the concept of self love is birthed. The second is external control, and this is where almost every philosopher has shed criticism. It is said that external control is impossible to achieve. And understandably so, the idea of becoming wealthy and being happy, sets a codependency. A dependency of one’s own peace and fulfillment on one’s own desire, is quixotic. It is a flawed concept, that inevitably reaches its doom. 

You realized this. You realized that there is very little joy in the materialistic things. And that even the joy that has been afforded for you, is not your creation. It was all a coincidence. 

Reema, I am leaning into this philosophy more than anything else. I am letting things that are not in my control. I am learning that dependency of any emotion and feeling is risky. And that true control is the consumption of those emotions. I am dictating my wants and defacto controlling both the external and the internal. Frederick Nieztche did this, and perhaps I may pursue the same route.

In this last section, Reema, I want to talk about your marriage. I know that you found happiness. But narrated the moment of you being married. You were crying. You were crying because you knew that this marriage was going to change everything. You felt as if this was a dream, but it wasn’t. The dream or nightmare was real. And this was your biggest sacrifice. And then there were a series of sacrifices. 

Reema, I love you for many reasons. One of those reasons is that your wisdom is endless. You are controlling both the external and internal like me. I am in awe of the galloping you have for knowledge. I am in love with how you are and always will be willing to sacrifice everything for the people you love. 

Love, 

Ammaar.

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