Ask The Therapist: “I used to be extremely outgoing pre-covid…but now my energy levels are low and honestly, most of the time I’d rather stay home.”

In 2016, the number of people estimated to be suffering from mental health issues like depression and anxiety amounted to roughly 1.1 billion. Since then, numbers have likely continued to rise. Moreover, studies have also shown women especially on average are a) more likely to suffer from mental health issues, and b) less likely to talk about them. The taboo in Pakistan surrounding depression and anxiety disorders only serve to aggravate the individuals suffering even more. For the women who cannot seek out full time therapy, we’ve enlisted the help of a trained therapist. You sent us in your questions – here are the answers!

“I used to be extremely outgoing pre-covid and wouldn’t be able to stay home for longer than a day. But since the past few months, I feel as though my energy levels have gone down drastically and I hate it. I love my friends but I don’t want to always spend time with them, I get quiet around new people and have less inclination to make an effort with them, and honestly, most of the time I’d just much rather stay home. But it’s something that’s been troubling me a lot recently because being this way is so foreign to me. I know it’s expected with lockdown and all, but is there any way for me to be able to find my way back to who I used to be? Or at least come to terms with who I am now?”

Shahrukh’s Response

Dear Anon,

I can imagine how troubling it must be for you to experience this loss of energy and change in yourself. Of course, this pandemic has impacted people in different ways – and given that the last year and a half has been heavily based on minimal social interactions, it’s only natural that some of us adjusted to this new normal and perhaps found ourselves to be less inclined towards the idea of socializing and meeting new people. As the vaccination roll out continues, people are slowly beginning to get back to their pre-covid lives, yet it’s not as easy as one would expect.

COVID-19: How It Changed Our Relationship With The External World

March 2020 marked the beginning of a very different era for humankind. One of the major changes that took place was the way we interacted with the world around us, specifically, the people. It’s strange, isn’t it? As humans, we’re designed to be social, we crave connection. Yet, the pandemic pushed us to physically distance ourselves from others and keep everyone at a distance. We were taught that physical safety existed in the form of isolation – we integrated the idea of keeping to ourselves, and so we did. 

As the world slowly goes back to what it used to be (sort of, we’re getting there), our bodies might still be holding onto the safety mechanism laid out by this pandemic, and we might have simply just gotten comfortable with our lives at home, associating safety with a quieter, more introverted life at home, and that’s okay. Just as we needed time to adjust to life during the pandemic, we will need time to adjust back to the way things used to be. 

It’s Been Quite A Ride, Give Yourself Time To Come Back

Anon, addressing the question you asked in terms of how you can find a way back to the person you used to be, well, I would invite you to give yourself some time, patience and understanding during this period. Consider taking some time to understand the new introverted side of yourself. Just because this new side has emerged, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your extraverted nature has gone completely. It could just be that the latter might have had to stay dormant for a long time, which paved the way for this new side. 

It could also be noted that as we spend more time at home, we become accustomed to the idea of not using as much energy as we did before, so our bodies might have actually adjusted to this new, slower pace, and movement and social interactions might be taking up a lot more energy than they did previously. Perhaps slowly integrating a more movement and active based routine would help your body relearn the idea of moving around the way it did before. 

A few things you could try for yourself, and a couple of things to remember:

  • Slowly and consistently adding more movement and social interactions to your routine.
  • Staying open to the idea that you might not be the way you were before, that you may have evolved and unlearned certain things and that’s alright.
  • Remember that there is nothing wrong with being introverted or more reclusive. 
  • Changes in you and your body come for a reason, and I would invite you to remain curious about yourself, and see what it is that you’re experiencing in regards to these changes.
  • If this is something that is really impacting your mental health, it might also help exploring these feelings in therapy.
  • Above all, give yourself some time. 

Anon, it’s strange but lately I’ve been hearing a lot of people saying that they’re not fully ready to get back to their pre-covid life. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling. The world has gone through a magnitude of change, and that level of impact is bound to pave the way for some differences in who we are, and who we evolve to be. As I said before: stay curious, give yourself time and let yourself go through the motions of whatever is coming up for you, and you are bound to find your way back to yourself soon. I wish you all the best on your journey! Take care and stay in your power!

The above article is written by Shahrukh Shahbaz Malik who is trained in humanistic integrative counselling at CPDD in the UK and currently has her own private practice in Karachi. The views expressed in this article are those of one expert. They do not necessarily represent the views of Mashion, nor do they represent the complete picture of the topic at hand. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis or treatment.

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