Ask Mr X: “I lied to my fiancé and his family about my age and got caught. They have called the wedding off. What can I do?”

Ever wanted advice on your relationship from that cool guy friend who has all the answers? Well, Mr. X is that friend for you. Every other week, he’s going to answer the questions you send him and if there’s one thing you can count on him for, it’s being honest. So go ahead, ask Mr. X

“According to matchmakers and relatives, I am not good enough to bag a good potential and should say yes to any Tom, Dick, or Harry. After hearing all this, I reduced my age on my profile. A decent family approached, and my rishta was fixed. They were the answer to all my prayers. The guy had been in relationships before which didn’t work because his mother wanted someone younger, and here I was 15 months older. I got scared and hid my lie, thinking what if he tells his mother and she says no. He had applied for jobs abroad and so I told him that there’s a discrepancy in my NIC. He told me that he’s in love with me and no matter what happens he won’t leave me. And by now I had feelings for him too. A month before the wedding, his family said that they can’t go ahead until my documents are corrected. I knew I had lied. I couldn’t lie anymore. So, I told him everything. They became aggressive and said they don’t trust us. I begged for mercy and forgiveness, but they didn’t consider anything. All preparations of the wedding were done. We had invested all that we had. Four days later they called the wedding off. The guy literally disappeared. I was wrong, I accept it. But don’t I deserve a chance? Is what I did was so big that I wasn’t forgiven?”

You won’t like what I have to say, but it is what it is. There was deceit in this relationship – and you brought it in. I’m a firm believer that any relationship built on lies is bound to fail. I understand society and its pressures, but its 2022 and it’s up to you to change the narrative. It’s up to each of us to change it for ourselves. Even if you felt pressure at that time, you had ample opportunity to redeem yourself and tell him and his family the truth, but you chose to tell more and more lies. Yes, it was a choice.

The simple answer of what you asked: “Is what I did so big that I wasn’t forgiven?” is yes. It is big. You broke someone’s trust, and it would be illogical for a person to continue with a marriage if they don’t trust you. In fact, I repeat, you’re only setting yourself up for failure if either one of you continue with this marriage.

 As for second chances goes, it is up to the person you hurt whether they have it in them to forgive you or not, and from what you shared, it doesn’t seem like him or his family are willing to give you that chance at this time.

 If I were you, I would learn some important life lessons here (mainly to be honest, to yourself and to those around you) and live by that in your future relationships. Ultimately, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. You’ve got to believe that!

Godspeed.

To send in your questions for Mr.X, email support@www.mashion.pk with the subject ‘Question for Mr.X’. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!