Ask The TherapistBig Banner PostEditor's PicksMental HealthWellness

Ask The Therapist: “So, I found him on Facebook. I saw his story and I felt that he is depressed..”

By Posted on 0 Comments 0 min read 2161 views

My problem is that I know a person, and I’ve been wanting to talk to him for the last two years. So, I found him on Facebook. Isaw his story and I felt that he is depressed. I ended up reaching out to him and the thought of his depression became more and more solidified. He told me that he didn’t want to talk anyone he knew about what he was going through. He lost his mother and is no longer attending classes. I told him to share, but he said he doesn’t want to share his problems with anyone. He has some suicidal thoughts also and he has started smoking. I want to help him keeping myself anonymous and he cannot visit any therapist. How can I help him?

Shahrukh’s Response:

Dear Anon,

Seeing someone you care for struggle in any way can be extremely challenging, and I imagine there must be some feelings of helplessness that are coming in right now. When it comes to being a support to someone who is battling mental health issues, it’s important to stay mindful of what your options are, and recognizing that while you might want the person to get help, the decision lies with them. Let’s delve into this a little further and see what you can do to help them, while also holding space for yourself – being a support to anyone can take its toll, and it’s crucial to take care of yourself as well.

Knowing What Is In Your Power, And What Isn’t.

• He will go according to his own pace: when trying to be there for someone, you need to know that while you can be there as a support and hold space for them, at the end of the day, it’s their journey, and it might take some time for them to find their way.
• Help him explore his feelings: if your friend is having trouble speaking others, and is willing to discuss how he feels with you, encourage him to express how he’s experiencing emotionally, asking him questions like:
o How can I help?
o What are you feeling right now?
o How long have you been feeling this way?
o What parts of the day are the most challenging?
• Check-in with him as regularly as you can: doing regular check-ins with your friend is something that can be a meaningful gesture – whether it’s once a day or once every couple of days, it helps to show that you are present and thinking of him and his well-being. Phrases such as the following would be a great way to show support:
o I am here for you.
o You are not alone.
o I just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re doing right now/today?
• Encourage him to seek help: while he may not want to seek help, you can gently encourage him to seek out helpfrom time to time – if he can’t go to a therapist physically, there are plenty of therapists who are seeing clients online and at discounted rates, if finances are a problem. While hemight be resistant to the idea, throw out the idea every now and then.
• Safety protocols: if your friend is having suicidal thoughts, you may need to alert his family – this needs to be done with a certain level of caution, see if you notice him expressing anything beyond thoughts – intention or concrete ideas to actually follow through, try to reach out to someone who would be able to contact his family, if need be.
• Support system: he might not be ready to reach out to people he knows, but do gently encourage him to seek out support from his loved ones. Again, all you can do is support and encourage, the rest is up to him.
• Encourage him to leave the house: whether it’s for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park, getting him out of his current environment and incorporating movement into his day is a great way for him to break state. Depending on where he is emotionally, he might be more open to it on some days, while extremely resistant on others. Take it one day at a time.
• Look out for your emotions: as stated before, being there for someone who is going through a hard time can be taxing, and it’s important to stay mindful of your own energy and ability to be available. It’s okay if you need to take a break and recharge.

***

 

Helping someone living with depression can be challenging for so many reasons, and one thing to keep in mind is that it is their journey, and no matter how much we would like to change or take away the pain they’re experiencing, they will need to do it on their own – so don’t try to “fix” anything, just be there to support them as they go through their experience. I hope this article was helpful to you, and that your friend gets the support that he needs. Best of luck, we’re rooting for both of you!

The above article is written by Shahrukh Shahbaz Malik who is trained in humanistic integrative counselling at CPDD in the UK and currently has her own private practice in Karachi. The views expressed in this article are those of one expert. They do not necessarily represent the views of Mashion, nor do they represent the complete picture of the topic at hand. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis, treatment or therapy.

Spread the love

Subscribe so you don’t miss a post

Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates!

You Might Also Like
5 Tips To Help You Fall Asleep Faster
5 Tips To Help You Fall Asleep Faster
Posted on
The Importance Of Parenting And How It Influences Personalities
The Importance Of Parenting And How It Influences Personalities
Posted on
The Importance Of Nutrition For Children
The Importance Of Nutrition For Children
Posted on
Ask The Therapist: “It’s been almost 9 months since I got divorced…I still miss him. How can I forget him?”
Ask The Therapist: “It’s been almost 9 months since I got divorced…I still miss him. How can I forget him?”
Posted on
How Much Do You Know About Cervical Cancer?
How Much Do You Know About Cervical Cancer?
Posted on
Ask The Therapist: “We used to have a happy life until Shahista came into our lives…my mother started feeling insecure as my father started showing interest in her…”
Ask The Therapist: “We used to have a happy life until Shahista came into our lives…my mother started feeling insecure as my father started showing interest in her…”
Posted on

What do you think?

No Comments Yet.