By Attending funerals can be overwhelming and distressing for everyone, especially those who are close to the deceased. But it can also be a little nerve-wrecking when you don’t know how to behave at funerals, which is why we made a list of etiquettes to follow that will make the experience easier on everyone.
Be Punctual
First thing to remember when going to a funeral is to be punctual. Be at the location where the funeral is taking place at the exact time mentioned by the person hosting the funeral. It is mindful and respectful to come early rather than to disturb everyone in the middle of the Dua Khani. Another thing one must remember is that if you are not close enough to the deceased, you can go the next day for the soyem or qul as funerals are intimate and a hard day for the deceased’s family.
Express Your Sympathy
Offer your condolences to the deceased’s family but avoid doing anything that would cause them further distress such as loud wailing, self injury and ripping of clothes. Doing the aforementioned can cause further pain and suffering to the family members of the deceased. During this time, please don’t ask them the reason why the deceased has passed away as it is a painful time for the loved ones, and reminding them of how the person passed or what they should have done during this time is wrong.
Be Respectful
As much as it is important to be on time, it is also important to be respectful to the deceased and their family members. It is necessary during these hard times to keep your opinions and values to yourself as everyone believes in certain traditions and if they want to carry them out, then that is their decision to do so.
It is disrespectful to just sit and laugh or gossip when you are at someone’s funeral so remember to not do that. If you see someone doing something similar, make a note to stop them as it can be hurtful to the family who has lost someone. Another important note to make is to not take pictures or make videos without taking permission. However, even asking for permission if you are not a close relative can be disrespectful.
Help The People Hosting
During this time, the family needs a helping hand. So ask them where you can help them. Be polite and offer your help wherever you think it is needed, especially if you see that they need assistance when food is served after the burial of the deceased. Suffering the loss of a dear family member while also trying to serve and host multiple people at a time can be difficult so try to contribute in making it a little easier by offering your help. While helping them, be mindful of not commenting on the food. As you are there to offer your condolences, be helpful and avoid talking about the food and offering suggestions on how to make any aspect of it better.
Leave Your Children At Home
If the children are not closely related to the deceased then avoid taking them. In order to be respectful to the family members and their time to grieve, it is important to keep their comfort and ease in mind.
Dress Appropriately
Dress modestly when going to a funeral. Men can wear full trousers or shalwar with a proper shirt. Whereas women are recommended to carry with them a scarf or chaddar to cover their heads when there is a Dua. Wearing anything heavy could be construed as a form of disrespect – simple clothes should be worn as a way to be respectful to the family of the deceased.
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