How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Whether you are newly married, or married for twenty something years, there comes a point in every relationship where you find yourself stuck in a routine. Once the dust settles and the honeymoon period comes to a natural end, things start to get mundane. By this point you have exhausted every possible thing you could know about your partner – so much so, that if there was an exam on them tomorrow, you would pass it with a distinction. So, you may be wondering, what’s next? The fairytales all tell you about the happy ever after, where the girl jumps into the carriage to her marital bliss. But they conveniently leave out the part on what happens following the first few months into marital bliss. There are novels, great sonnets written on love before marriage, but barely any on how to sustain that love post marriage.

Marriage is a happy union between two people who love each other, and while the love is always there, we often take our partner for granted. Just because we feel they will always be there, we tend to not give it the time and effort it deserves. The work does not end after the ‘qabool hai’, but instead that is when it starts. Well, all hope is not lost — consider us your marriage guru, as we are bringing you a comprehensive list of things you can do to spice up your marriage so that the spark between you and your partner is everlasting, and never dims. 

Re-visit your love languages.

There was a reason why you married your partner; out of the plethora of people in the world, the two of you found your way to each other. Relationship expert and author of the ‘5 love languages’ Gary Chapman, states that there is a ‘love tank’ that every partner has in a relationship, and years after marriage we tend to ignore our partners love language and push it to the back burner. We tend to feel that just cause we are married, the work is over. But, that is when the relationship starts to get stale, as you two get so used to how things have been, that you ignore the ‘emotional love tank’, and it starts to get empty. You start taking each other for granted, and get so busy with externalities, like work, kids, and family, that you stop prioritizing the two people who matter the most- you and your partner.  Re-visit what your partners love language is, and work on making them feel special through that. Once both your love tanks are filled, you can guarantee the ‘spice’ of your marriage will never die down.

Surprise Each Other

The main reason life post marriage feels repetitive, is because the excitement of getting to know your partner has ended. They seem predictable, and once your partner starts to seem predictable, it is one slippery slope from being bored by them. However, even when you feel you seemingly know everything about a person, the good thing is, humans are entirely unpredictable and constantly evolving. Your experiences change you and evolve you everyday. Surprise each other by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and look at each other with a fresh pair of eyes. Pick up a new hobby that the two of you have never done before, and can do together; sign up for a group workout class together or learn about investing in some stocks or NFT’s, to engage yourself. The world is yours to experience and learn from,  and what better than having someone to share that with? This way you will never stop growing and learning about yourself and your partner, and we can guarantee things will never get stale. 

Break Away From Your Routine

There is a common misconception that you can only experience new things when you are single. Single life is exalted as the one and only time you can experience everything, and once you are married that part of your life has ended. On the contrary, once you are married you have a partner for life, and everything on your bucket list that you have been dying to do, but never had the chance to do, you can do with your partner. Go skydiving, go on a trip,  or even break out of the routine of the same restaurant every week, and try something new with your partner. Your shared experiences will bring the two of you closer than ever.

Don’t Be Afraid To Try New Things In Bed

Our society has perpetuated a taboo regarding sex, and even consensual adults united in matrimony, often shy away from talking about it. Sex is associated with shame to young woman, where they have been indoctrinated to feel that their ‘sexual desires’ are unnatural, and exclusively reserved for men. There is no evidence supporting the claim, that women do not crave sex as much as men do. It’s natural, to want your partner and crave sex! To keep things exciting in your marital bed, do not be afraid to tell your partner your desires, and always be down to try new things. You might surprise yourself discovering things you like. Plus, your partner will appreciate you for it. What better way to feel closer to your partner than the most intimate thing legally reserved for the two of you.

Put An Effort To Dress Up For Your Partner

It is natural to want to be comfortable in your home with your partner. You want to be in your most worn sweats, hair unkempt and unruly—truly in your element. Trust us, we get that. But, little things like the two of you dressing up for each other, and being presentable, goes a long way. It keeps thing fresh, and creates an allusion of the two of you dressing up to see each other as you did before marriage. These little things go a long way. Ofcourse you are not expected to be dressed to the nines every time your partner is around, but dressing up once in a while for them, to keep things exciting is always a good thing.