In the less-than-glamourous age of Tinder, where arranged set ups have seemingly gone out of fashion, professional matchmaking is still thriving as a profession. True love is that elusive concept that people have chased for millennia, but actually being able to achieve it is harder than you think. Sure, there are plenty of people to meet: but it’s a sold 1% that share your views and hobbies, or come from a similar background. Professional matchmakers work like Tinder. They have their own algorithms, which match you based on the information you put forth — and better than Tinder, you won’t match with any duds. The only people who register are people serious about long term commitments. We had professional matchmaker Anjum Kamran at the Mashion HQ this week. From finding the perfect fit to spotting red flags, she shared her two decades worth of experience with us. If you’ve missed it — here’s all you need to know!
1. How Does It Work?
Once you decide to trust a matchmaker to find your soulmate, one question naturally arises in everyones head — how will they find my perfect match? How do you outsource a search for love? It’s simpler than you think. There’s no rocket science behind the process of finding the perfect match. Everyone has certain traits and qualities in mind which they want their ideal mate to possess. A matchmaker lists these down and introduces clients with largely similar interests. “I ask my clients for their requirements and preferences, categorise and find the suitable person, then introduce the two to each other.” says Mrs Kamran.
2. Clicking Is The Key
When consulting a matchmaker, one usually thinks they will instantly find them the perfect match. It’s not magic though! When finding your soulmate, a matchmaker is merely the middle man introducing you. Our expert says “it’s a matter of clicking with someone. A lot of people meet each other. Some click in the first meeting, while others find their right match after meeting a few people.” Everyones journey is timed differently.
3. Two Things To Look For In A Soulmate
What an ideal soulmate looks like may vary from person to person. According to Anjum, there are two basic qualities that apply to every successful couple. Love and respect. Unless there are mutual feelings of attraction, compassion, caring and respect between two individuals, they are not meant for each other. While love keeps the spark alive in a relationship, respect strengthens the bond the partners share.
4. Age Is Not A Barrier
Unfortunately, remaining single beyond a certain age is still synonymous to committing a crime in our society. Settling down in your 20s and 30s is almost a requirement. So much so that those who surpass that age are often considered unsuitable for proposals. But is age really a barrier? Well, as per our expert, it isn’t. Shedding light upon the taboo attached to older people looking for a match, Anjum says, “Age never matters. At times, we also arrange second marriages for very young people. Everyone finds the right match suitable for their age.”
5. Second Chance At Love Is Possible
Equally criminal to staying single is being divorced in our society. There’s a lot of anxiety and reservation that comes with pursuing a second marriage for someone that’s been divorced, when in reality, it matchmaking makes the process easier. According to our expert, second marriages are very common now and it is not at all difficult to find someone to settle down with again. Moreover, these situations are clarified and declared to either party prior to introduction — there’s no awkwardness concealment of the truth.
6. Considering The Clients Privacy
In order to find the right life partner, you first need to find the right matchmaker. Hiring a professional matchmaking service isn’t a decision you should make lightly. Bearing in mind that you’re paying them a hefty amount and sharing all your personal details with them, it is always better to do some research first. Since it’s an unregulated industry, there are some shady operators out there as well. According to Anjum, she 100% respects her client’s right to privacy throughout the process. “Everyone is equally respected. We are only here to help and introduce you to the right people.” she says.
7. The Biggest Red Flag
If you’re a millennial, you’ve probably already met a dozen guys and girls afraid of commitment in their own ways. In this age, every young adult is looking for someone special to connect but — but when it comes to settling down with a person, very few are willing to take the plunge. Putting in years of effort with someone like this can turn out to be a nightmare. According to our expert, if you’re in a relationship with a commitment-phobe, then it’s better to forget him and move on.
8. What Is Love?
Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. But, everyone has a different version of ideal love. Though we all know what love is, we often fail to recognise the true meaning of it. Anjum thinks love is all about caring for your partner. “If your partner is caring towards you and expresses his or her emotions to you — that is love!”